Sunday, February 27, 2011

Hello All,
In 2006, I had my very first book signing at Barnes and Noble. In addition the signing, a reporter from the Sun Times was coming to interview me. She arrived and began asking lots of questions, and she took pictures of me talking with people about my book. A couple of weeks later when the article was released, I was sadly disappointed. The reporter misquoted me, and had some personal information wrong. I couldn't believe it! My first interview and it was not all that I hoped it would be. I had to move on from it, and my family and friends told me not to worry about it. Since then, I have given so many interviews and no one even mentions that first article. Do you know what it feels like to be misunderstood? You desperately want everyone to know the truth, but reality is too far gone.

Most of the time, the things we worry about aren't worthy of us thinking about anyway. We have to learn how to filter for our own sake, and keep it moving. The truth will eventually come to light. All will be well in your heart and mind.

Be Blessed,

Friday, February 25, 2011

Truth of the Matter

Hello All,
When I was a kid, we lived briefly in Fort Sill, Oklahoma. I was playing softball with a group of kids, and they asked me where I was from. Proudly, I said "Kansas City." Well, then came the Wizard of Oz jokes and the infamous line, "You're not in Kansas anymore!" Confidently I said, "I'm from Kansas City, Missouri not Kansas." Well, now they thought I was crazy. They proceeded to tell me that there was no such thing as Kansas City, Missouri! I grew more irritated over these military brats trying to tell me where I was from! The taunting continued until my Dad arrived to pick me up. I told him the twisted tale, and he laughed. He said, "As long as YOU know who you are, and where you're from...who cares!" My Dad and his infinite wisdom!

It all relates to discovering your truth and living it, regardless of what people are saying. The truth of the matter is that people will talk, but you decide where that talk is going to go. If you are constantly changing what you say and do in order to please others, that is not living your true self. Take the time to discover who you really are, and all your decisions will be well within your soul.

Be Blessed,

Sunday, February 20, 2011

The Gift of Legacy

Hello All,
I was about eight years old when my Nana introduced me to poetry. One of the most amazing women that I have ever known, was also an amazing poet and writer. She gave riveting inspirational messages at church, and her faith in God lead to her write timeless poems. It was natural for her to want to share her passion with me. We were very close, and I believe God lead her to plant the seed within me.

One day, she had a black & white composition book on the table. She gave me the book, and I asked "What do I write about?" She replied, "Anything you want to!" Wow, really? It started out very innocent with Roses are red, violets are blue... Then, I started paying attention to what people were saying and doing around me. My emotions and opinions began to take a life of their own. I became more of myself, which was not yet defined, but I was changing. My notebook became a trusted friend that traveled with me everywhere, and allowed me to safely express myself. What a wonderful gift and legacy my Nana passed down.

Nana passed away during my senior year of high school, six days after my 18th birthday. She left me a foot locker of all her poetry, speeches, and writings. She always knew that I would be a published author! As a kid, she said, "When you publish your book, include my poetry too." So, that is exactly what I did, and will continue to do. She is a constant motivation for me, and I thank God that I had her in my life for 18 years. She is still working on my behalf, and I still use those composition books!

Our strength comes from within. It fits neatly into our hearts and minds, but reveals itself when we ask it too. It's power can propel our dreams into flight, and sustain us through the journey. What a journey I have had, but it has only just begun! Thanks Nana, miss you.

Be Blessed,

Saturday, February 19, 2011

Normal Girls Rule

Hello All,
My senior year of high school, Claire moved in down the street from me. Being on a military base, families were moving in and out all the time. Fort Stewart, Georgia was where I called home for about five years. Military "brats" sort of get use to moving around, making new friends, and learning new schools. Claire was from California, and she was getting herself into trouble, so her parents sent her to live with her aunt and uncle in Fort Stewart thinking she would do better in another environment. Reluctantly, we became friends. You see, Claire was gorgeous. Light-skinned, long hair, and the kind of gorgeous that made guys stop and drool. Why was she wanting to be MY friend? For a girl like me, who had low self-esteem and a poor self-image, Claire was the enemy. Clearly, I hated being seen with her because she got all the attention. I think she was oblivious to just how much attention she received.

I battled low self esteem all through high school. I never thought I measured up, and found myself being jealous of other girls. It was a vicious cycle that I couldn't get out of.

After Christmas break, her aunt and uncle sent her back to California. I guess she was too much for everybody. By this time, we had developed a strong friendship and I was sad to see her go. I wanted to be happy and relieved, but I couldn't get there! My mother told me that people come into your life for a reason, and sometimes just for a season. Could Claire have provided me with a life lesson? Surely, the California girl that I felt inferior to couldn't possibly have something to teach me.

When we returned from Christmas break, people were asking me about Claire. "Where's your buddy?" I told them that she went back to California to stay. No one seemed to care, or broken up about it. One particular guy said, "She was cool to look at, but not much else." Wow. I realized within that comment, that I was just a normal girl. I was smart, articulate, creative, and was actually kinda cute! I had issues with esteem and image, but so did every other girl at school!

The remainder of my senior year, I smiled, I laughed, I went to prom, and I liked myself. All of this because of the girl from California.

Love yourself. Because if you don't, no one else will.

Be Blessed,

Friday, February 18, 2011


Hello All,
I was 26 years old when I got married to my college sweetheart. I was excited about being a wife, and my desire to have children was immediate. We were young, ambitious, and loved our families and friends. Although we weren't on the same time frame as far as having children, I remained patient and continued to be in the moment of my marriage. After five years, a new home, and a change in careers, the emptiness began to take over and the marriage began to reveal major signs of trouble. A few years after that, I found myself divorced, in a one bedroom apartment, a broken down vehicle, and people who had turned their backs on me. Wow.

I remember waking up crying every morning, putting on a fake mask at work, and crying on the way home. My emotions ran from sad and lonely, to angry and confused. The definition that I had created was not even me anymore, and I did not know what to do. I accidentally saw myself in the mirror one day - broken. I looked pathetic. I looked sad. I didn't recognize Archuleta. At that moment, I said outloud that it was over and I wasn't going to cry another day. I asked God to forgive me, and if He would be so kind to clean me up one more time.

The reality is, life can hit us with some hard stuff! Stuff that will make you rethink your very existence, and bring you to your knees. Well, I suppose that is the perfect place to be - a position to pray and ask God for help. He is the only one that was able to restore my spirit, lift me up, and place me on solid ground. The only one! He didn't have to do it, but He has the master plan and knows the bigger picture.

Today, God is restoring everything that I lost. He has brought me back to a place of peace, and the hurt from the past is long gone. I encourage you on today! Whatever it is, whatever it looks like, whatever it sounds like....give it to God. Allow Him to take that burden from you and work it out on your behalf. In the morning, you will be alright and the sun will shine. Praise God!

Be Blessed,

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Why Do You Torture Yourself?

Hello All,
The first man to ever tell me I was beautiful was my Dad. Real fathers are remarkable in building their daughter's self esteem and guiding them to that place of a secure SELF. Along the way, certain forces may come and damage that yolk. That's when the real work begins.

My Babe asked me the other day why I torture myself. He manages models, and is always looking for models (or wanna-bees), and the whole idea of it hits me hard. I know he loves me, and thinks the world of me, but the thought of him blatantly finding other women attractive is more than I can handle most times. Sound familiar? Why do we torture ourselves? Why do we purposely go out and find those situations that create negativity for us? Why can't we accept what's being said and shown to us?

Self-esteem is your overall opinion of yourself — how you honestly feel about yourself with all of your successes, abilities, flaws and limits. When you have healthy self-esteem, you feel good about yourself and see yourself as deserving others' respect. When you have low self-esteem, on the other hand, you put little value on your opinions and ideas, and you constantly worry that you aren't "good enough." Low self-esteem can negatively affect virtually every part of your life, including your relationships, your job and your health. But you can raise your self-esteem to a healthy level, even if you're an adult who's been harboring a negative self-image since childhood.

Here are five steps toward healthy self-esteem are based on cognitive behavioral therapy principles. As you go through these five steps, jot down your thoughts, experiences and observations in a journal to help you use these steps more effectively. They helped me!

Step 1: Identify troubling conditions or situations
Think about the conditions or situations that you find troubling and that seem to deflate your self-esteem, such as dreading a business presentation, frequently becoming angry or always expecting the worst. You may be struggling with a change in life circumstances, such as the death of a loved one, job loss or children leaving home, or a relationship with another person, such as a spouse, family member or co-worker.

Step 2: Become aware of beliefs and thoughts
Once you've identified troubling conditions or situations, pay attention to your thoughts related to them. This includes your self-talk — what you tell yourself — and your interpretation of what the situation means. Your thoughts and beliefs may be positive, negative or neutral. They may be rational — based on reason or facts — or irrational — based on false ideas.

Step 3: Pinpoint negative or inaccurate thinking
Notice when your thoughts turn toward the negative. Your beliefs and thoughts about a situation affect your reaction to it. Negative thoughts and beliefs about something or someone can trigger physical, emotional and behavioral responses, such as:

■Physical responses. These may include muscle tension, a sore back, racing heart, stomach problems, sweating or changes in sleeping patterns.
■Emotional responses. These may include difficulty concentrating, or feeling depressed, angry, sad, nervous, guilty or worried.
■Behavioral responses. These may include eating when not hungry, avoiding tasks, working more than usual, spending increased time alone, obsessing about a situation or blaming others for your problems.

Step 4: Challenge negative or inaccurate thinking
Your initial thoughts may not be the only possible way to view a situation. So test the accuracy of your thoughts. Ask yourself whether your view is consistent with facts and logic or whether there might be other explanations for the situation. You may not easily recognize inaccuracies in your thinking, though. Most people have automatic, long-standing ways of thinking about their lives and themselves. These long-held thoughts and beliefs feel normal and factual to you, but many are actually just opinions or perceptions.

Step 5: Change your thoughts and beliefs
Once you've identified negative or inaccurate thinking you can replace it with accurate thoughts and beliefs. This can enable you to find constructive ways to cope, and give your self-esteem a boost. It takes time and effort to learn how to recognize and replace distressing thoughts with accurate ones. Thoughts often occur spontaneously or automatically. They can be hard to control or turn off. Thoughts also can be very powerful and aren't always based on logic.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

What's Really Happening?

Hello All,
What are you looking at today? Not in the natural sense, but with your spiritual eyes. In other words, what is in the forefront of your mind and in your heart? Are you constantly dwelling on your problems or things that have happened in your past? In the natural, you will move in the direction that your eyes are looking. In the spiritual, it works the same way. Whatever you focus your mind and heart on, you will move toward.

If you are constantly dwelling on your problems or things in your past, wondering “what if,” then you will stay right where you are. But if you choose to forgive and release the past, then you can focus on what is ahead of you, and you’ll begin to move forward.

God doesn’t want you to live in the past. He wants you to keep growing and moving forward. Make the decision to meditate on His goodness and focus on His promises. Look straight ahead so you can see His blessing and move forward into the life of victory He has promised you!

Be Blessed,

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Get On With It

Hello All,
At the beginning of 2011, I carefully wrote down numerous goals and plans for myself and my career as a writer. From the small things like getting new bookmarks, to the bigger things of starting my own publishing company, I expressed in detail what my plans were. On this first day of February, I have not departed from those plans. As a matter of fact, I am revisiting them today to see what needs to be updated! I get excited about where my head is at! I am always thinking, planning, dreaming, wishing, hoping, and PRAYING! Don't forget about exhaling, questioning, learning, growing, and PRAYING some more! Always in a quest to become more of myself. I don't allow anyone to sway me from my belief system or the plans that I have. Anyone. I don't have the heart to straddle the fence about who I am, or what I represent. I take advice through listening, and "I will pray on that", but at the end of the day I have to be at peace with who I am and what I do.

God has revealed things to me, and has shown me places I will go and people that I will encounter. So, the excitement is overwhelming. However, I must admit that being patient with God's time is a challenge! I know that these things will come to fruition all in due season. God wants us to have Hope, Faith, and Intent. He also wants us to speak those things that are not as though they were! You may not see it yet, but speak it into existence - you have the power to do that.

Let me encourage you on today to Get On with life! Revisit those resolutions and plans you wrote on New Year's Day, and put new energy and boldness into them. Pray on those things and let God take them to the next level. You will be overwhelmed and excited too!

Be Blessed,